we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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