He is such a slut. More and more my type.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
