i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You've changed since you got that strap on
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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