Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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