her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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