its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
