its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
