Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
