Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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