Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
