I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
