I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
