So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
