Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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