I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
