Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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