this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
