dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
