spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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