my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
