They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
