Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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