In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
