How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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