I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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