she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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