it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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