someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
