Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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