My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
