Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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