Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
