I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
