Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
