just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
