Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
