What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
