So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
