I got chris browned last night
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
