it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
