I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
