just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
