From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
