I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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