I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
