My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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