I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
