the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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