What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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