Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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