We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
