Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
