turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
